Mark Bossingham

My 1st ASUS eee PC post

OK HERE we go with my first wireless post on my new 2-lb. toy, a fully-fledged Linux computer made by some company in Taiwan.Positives: Price and if comes loaded with all the software a normal person will ever need. Negatives: Small keyboard and to  do anything interesting you have to type in a lot of commands in the terminal window. So far i haven't irreparably broken it.
    Unfortunately, I have the mother of all flu viruses. Feel just awful, with temp in excess of 39 (102) ugh. Poor me.

Latest—and last?—column

HERE IS a link to my latest, and posibly last, column for the IHT/Asahi. We are undergoing some radical "restructuring," as are many papers worldwide. No, I am not losing my job. As usual I am including the full text because these things only seem to survive online for a short while. I would like to thank my editor, for without her efforts these little ditties would have been a lot worse. You may wonder why these articles were so short. Well, first we built a 500-word news hole and forced the writers to fit their works into it. A hard word count does wonders for concise writing. Called Breathing Space, it appeared once a week, and anyone in the newsroom was welcome to contribute.

Family hits the road for a scenic drive through Tokyo and Chiba

"Hey," I shouted from the bedroom, "Let's go for a doraibu."
    "What?" my wife, Kiyomi, yelled back from the living room.
    I took a couple of strides across the condo. She was plopped down on the carpet in front of the TV. The dog was by her side. They were watching a Korean drama. Neither understands Korean, and the dog can't read subtitles, but both looked content.
    "Let's go for a doraibu," I repeated.
    Kiyomi hit pause. She gave me an irritated look. The dog looked at me, too. Its expression was harder to read. Irritation or gimme a cookie, who can say. "What's a 'doraibu?'" Kiyomi asked, wanting to get back to her TV show.
    "You know," I said, placing my hands in the approved 10-and-4 position and turning an imaginary steering wheel. "Doraibu."
    She shook her head. "Drive? You want to go for a drive. In the car?"
    I nodded. "I thought you called it a doraibu."
    She grimaced, her finger poised over the TV remote.
    "Well, that's what all my students called it when I taught English," I hurriedly explained. They all said it was their hobby."
    It was true. In the burbs of Osaka, where I taught, driving seemed to be the No. 2 pastime, only slightly behind that other well-known hobby, sleeping.
    "That was about a million years ago," my wife reminded me.
    "Well, uhh--"
    She hit the remote. "Whatever. We'll go. Just let me finish watching this."
    Two hours later, we climbed into the car and got on the road. "This was your idea. You should drive," my wife said.
    "Yeah, but ..."
    I didn't have a driver's license. The last time I drove, I crashed a jeep into a hut made of scrap sheet metal and palm fronds. I was drunk. Half a lifetime ago.
    "Ahh, the open road," I said, stretching my arms as she pulled into Tokyo traffic.
    "Where do you want to go?"
    I set the dog down by my feet and gave it a canine cookie to shut it up. "Anywhere's fine. You decide."
    My wife swerved to avoid a lane-encroaching dump truck and muttered to herself.
    Soonish, we were out of the city and cruising in Chiba Prefecture. At least I think it was Chiba. Kind of hard to tell with all those noise-abatement barriers they line expressways with. Not exactly a cruise through the south of France, but it would have to do.
    The dog fell asleep in my arms and started to snore. I could understand; the car was toasty. My eyelids felt a bit heavy.
    "Hey, you two. Wake up!"
    The dog yipped in confusion; I jerked against the seat belt and opened my eyes. The passenger-side door was open, my wife hovering over me. A gray concrete warehouse loomed. Giant red letters on the building said: Costco.
    Kiyomi jerked her thumb at an oversized, overstuffed shopping cart behind her and said, "Load up the trunk, your doraibu is over."

My neighborhood

No Snow, just some pitcher and a deadline

I WAS hoping to post a picture of last night's spectacular snowstorm. Didn't happen. Actually looks like a fairly nice day, if cold. So what am I left with? A column due Tuesday I need to write today. And the Mariner's finally pick oup a pitcher that might be worth giving away the farm for (almost literally). Erik Bedard is his name. A lefty with good numbers last year. Let's hope the deal doesn't play out like many do: pitcher signs for a gazillion bucks and either doesn't try very hard or is always hurt. Now ya got any ideas for a column? I just woke up and ...

ASUS eee PC 4G Galaxy Black

I JUST bought one of these. Tiny flash-disk laptop (less than a kilo), linux OS. Just wanted something to write on and I don't trust conventional notebook hard drives anymore, after my MacBook drive crapped out like two days after the warranty expired. Even that thing was way to heavy to lug around. Less than 50,000 yen and pre-loaded with 40 programs, wi-fi, etc. Should theoretically talk to my iMac. Not crucial. I can just gmail my stories to the big boy or I suppose I could use a USB thumb drive.

McCain it is

WELL, WITH the Mitt's suspension, it looks like John McCain is the new it girl. Ho-hum. And while I have vowed never to vote for the snake, what choice do I have—a fact he is counting on. However, I remain uncommitted. Let's face it, over here in Tokyo, the damage he does will be confined to American's that live in the United States. He can't raise my taxes. The Japanese government does a good enough job of that. As president he would be equally likely to as, in Mittt Romney's words, turn the United States into France as either HillBill or Obama. The cliche is apt—you get the government you deserve.

Zeros

I HAVE not voted for a former Naval officer in the last two presidential primaries/elections. There was a reason we called these guys "Zeros" when I was in the Navy.

Not so Super Bowl

BORING FOOTBALL, verging on inept. A bit like watching the 49ers. The Giants deserved to win. Tom Brady's eyes looked vacant. The halftime show with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers was the best part. I have always been a fan. Know nothing about the guy, but I like to imagine that his signature song "I Won't Back Down" embarrasses liberals. Of course, backing down is the one thing they can always be relied upon to do.

The joke that is BBC—"Spooks"

I JUST tried to watch the first episode of a BBC series titled "Spooks" From what I could gather it is the story of the exploits of MI5, the Brit internal security apparatus post 9/11. The plot was simply a scream. Remember this is the first episode of a TV series. One can expect it to set the tone for what is to come. We begin with the "Spook" heroes getting a tip that 20 bombs and detonators have been smuggled into the country by the IRA for unknown buyers. One might surmise that these buyers would be jihadists or even ne0Nazis. One would be wrong. OK, now think, who could the bad guys be, and what might be their cause? Think like an Oxford-educated British twit. Your getting warm. Yes, must have an anti-American element. OK, let's go. One of the bombs is placed. An evil looking woman is sitting in a nearby car as a lovely family gathers around their vehicle. Evil woman sets off bomb by cellphone. The mom dies and the cute daughter is badly hurt. But why them. Of course, I should have guessed. Both mom and dad are "family planing" doctors. Victims of crazed "pro-lifers"—and not just any pro-lifers. Next scene. The evil woman is meeting with her gang of terrorists. She is giving them their murderous marching orders in a ridiculously fake Southern accent. Yep, the formidable forces of MI5 are about to take on that worldwide terror organization al-baby-al-Alabama. I turned off the show at this point. But I am pretty sure those terrifying American zealots met their match in the plucky British. God, what planet does the BBC inhabit? That Britain is the epicenter of Islamic fundamentalism in Europe is not even open for debate. That Britain is severely anti-semitic is also a fact. And clearly the British, or at least the chattering classes, are, as evidenced by "Spooks," ignorant religious bigots.

The company you keep

RUSH LIMBAUGH, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham support Mitt Romney. RINO Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine support John McCain. Get it?