Mark Bossingham

Merry Christmas II

IT WAS good:

Cristmas Eve

MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone. Here are pictures of Kiyomi and I wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Milford Sound in New Zealand.

My apologies to Rice

MY APOLOGIES to Secretary of State Condi Rice. I snottily suggested that she supports James Baker’s risible advice on the Mideast. She does not. She understands better that most that Baker’s penchant for kicking the can down the road is not an an answer to anything. I am also encouraged that the administration understands Baker’s plan to kiss our enemies asses and screw our friends is not a good strategy in the short or long run. OK, big mouth. Do I have an answer. Yes and no. I would institutionalize a yearly Syria-Iran Smackdown. We would set aside a couple of months a year for round-the-clock bombing campaigns of all military targets. That should to some degree mitigate the mischief these terrorist nations can get up too. Allowing them to continue to threaten us and their neighbors is not acceptable. This has the added advantage of destroying all the war-fighting nuke-making equipment supplied by the regenerating Soviet Union. Iraq? More troops, fight as ruthlessly as the enemy, kick AP out of the country, forget the Sunnis, back the Kurds and Shias, and be prepared for a 20-year commitment. Assassinate the leaders of Iran-backed militias. Of course, it is helpful to remember that none of this is remotely likely to happen. And that's too bad. In the long run Baker's plan to appease Iran is a death sentence for millions.

UPDATE – Crazy Noise

WOW, I'VE got two, count 'em two, royalty checks sitting in my drawer from my publisher. Modesty forbids me from announcing their amount. Oh, what the hell. Let's put it this way: They are unlikely to lift me into another tax bracket. However, they will keep my dog in dog food for a year (She doesn't eat much). So here's a big cheer to the unknown yous who bought the book. It lives! For the rest of you, I have been terribly remiss and have not posted the promised monthly installment on time. So here it is. A good one, too. Chocked full of all that gritty-nasty that has made the book such a big hit. Obligatory reminder: Somewhere on the left is a link to Amazon or somebody where you can buy the book. I recommend Amazon Japan if you are here in country. My e-mail address is over there somewhere, too, if you want to comment on the novel. I try not to think about the fact that nearly the only people that blunder onto this site are Euro-perverts trolling for porn. I am happy to send them away disappointed.

Iraq Study Group

I NEED to do some housekeeping. Today’s the last effective day of my vacation. Back to the newsroom on Monday. An excellent three weeks. First New Zealand and then 10 days riding my bicycle and teaching myself to play pool. I have actually developed “pool shoulder.” Fun.
        One of the things I enjoy when I travel is opening up newspapers and admiring how little space they devote to world news. The main paper on the south island of NZ was typical--two pages consisting of a stick of briefs, a few ads and a couple of stories.
        And who can blame them? Only news junkies can bear to read about the desperately bad decisions/outcomes that make up the daily news cycle.
        A couple of examples and then I will move on to more productive tasks. First is the report submitted by the Iraq Study Group. Headed by James “Fuck the Jews” Baker, the group’s recommendations are hardly the work of genius.  Boiled down they consist of getting Iran and Syria to help us stabilize Iraq and fucking over Israel.
        I can see the mullahs really mulling over this one. “Hey, dude, ya think we ought to help stabilize Iraq, ya know, help make it a strong, functioning democracy.”
        “I don’t know dude, didn’t they, like uh, invade us and didn’t millions die in some really long war?”
        “Right on, dudes. Good analysis. OK, gimme a show of hands. How many in favor of bailing out the Great Satan?”
        “OK, we got a big fat goose egg on that proposal. How many in favor of pretending to go along with the idea, but actually screwing them over. In short, chaos?”
        If you were an Iranian despot how would you vote?
        The other big idea from the smarty pants at the ISG was to shove Israel into the Iraq mess. In other words, what can we give Syria and Iran to entice them into helping us, even though a 3rd-grader knows they never will? The Golan Heights, of course. Especially since the return of Gaza worked so well ...
        Basically, the Baker Boys (and one girl) looked around and asked themselves who can we credibly threaten in the area? Why, the only democracy of course.
        So only by ignoring what is obvious to even the dumbest observer--that Iraq and the Israel-Palestinian war are not related--do they come up with what appears to be their only concrete suggestion: Fuck Israel.
        I read that Condi Rice thinks these are cool ideas. God help us if that is true. It would go a long way to proving the thesis that government service can quickly turn a world class intellect into mush.
        I’m already bored with this. I  was also going to look into the AP’s vicious attack on the U.S. military and the Iraqi government in it’s failing effort to defend the use of a non-existent Iraqi police captain in nine stories (the most recent of which was a fictitious account six Sunnis “burned alive” at a mosque.
        After flunking the habeas corpus test--failing to produce either the police officer source, or the families of the alleged victims, an AP VP and senior editor, fell back on the “fake but true” defense--to wit: We may have lied but lots of bad stuff really does happen so the facts don’t matter.  Ugh. I admit even I am surprised at the speed that this “venerable” (as it likes to describe itself) organization has morphed into an anti-American terrorist agiprop machine. And don’t even get me started on their Pulitzer Prize winning photographer currently in the slammer after he was nabbed in a terrorist bomb-making factory.

Back from the Z

I AM back from New Zealand. Ten days of fun, mostly in the sun. I think the place gets an unfair rap--it's not all sheep, there are a few people, too--nice, funny ones at that. However, after driving all over the southern island, the one that locates Christchurch and Queensland, I did eventually come to expect find one or two under the next hotel bed. They are everywhere. The cows seem to prefer the northern island.
    New Zealanders are justifiably proud of their land. It is beautiful, as pictured in the LOTR. Active, outdoorsy, only a few are obsessive. Our guide on a cool jet boat/hike up the Dart River was actually proud of the fact that New Zealand's forests are animal free, and thusly untouched. I kind of like bears and rabbits and wolverines. As they say, a forest without animals is like a day without sunshine. But I quibble. It's a great place and everyone should visit.
    Despite the lack of indigenous creatures, there are imported (big mistake) possums --everywhere. One sees them in rather poor form, usually as clumps of mangled meat and fur on the highway. Roadkill heaven. However, they do manage to make a silk purse out of these sows' ears. My wife returned home with a lambskin cape adorned with possum fur.
    My only regret is that I didn't have time to jump off the Sky Tower. At 192 meters, that's a long way to fall. If I had known it was a cable-harness jump, not a bungee, I would have taken the leap in a heartbeat. But bungees are out. With no cartilage or ligaments to speak of in my left knee, I would not have wanted to leave half a leg in Auckland. Alas ...